Steve Lopez:
Points West

Rehearsed Lines Are for Movies, Not Debates

Politics is nothing if not performance art. But this could have been masterpiece theater, starring a world-famous action hero in a one-man show on the death of parody.

I prayed to the Virgin Mary to make it happen, but the other candidates are backing off their boycott vow. It was probably never more than a publicity stunt, anyway. They knew they'd end up on the street outside the debate hall, telling their story of high principles to two reporters, a bag lady and a sleeping dog, while Arnold, in full makeup, grabbed the spotlight.

And speaking of principle, do you get the feeling Cruz Bustamante — whose campaign guru has been a lobbyist for labor unions and Indian tribes — would do a rain dance on the Capitol steps if there were another nickel of casino money in it?

The unscripted question I'd like to see him answer is this: Would you mind explaining, Big Chief BustaMoney, how you're an improvement over Gray Davis?